Mixed Up Munks
by TheodoreSeville85
Summary: Comedic shorts about different Chipmunk pairings.
1. AlvinXSimon

"So...so get this Simon..." Alvin said, holding his sides and giggling, "You're supposed to pull me close, and call me you "Darling chipmunk lover" before picking me up and carrying me to bed!" he howled with laughter, falling to the floor and rolling. Simon wasn't doing much better, he'd been laying on his belly, listening to Alvin read the latest bad fan fiction he'd found about him and his brother.

"Let me guess, we make sweet, gentle love, with no lubrication or prep work for you, and it magically feels amazing for you and doesn't hurt at all?" He asked, taking his glasses off and whiping the tears from his eyes.

"Why would you ever think that?" Alvin giggled, "and then, we talk about how we don't even like girls, and all we've wanted was eachother, but were too scared to admit it."

"Such tripe, I'm surprised they had the courage to put such hogwash online," Simon replied.

"Yeah, you and me, only wanting eachother and not liking girls. Thats so stupid. I mean," he shuffled his foot a little on the carpet, "If I were, you know, gay, and you weren't my brother, I guess you'd be okay to date."

"Um, yeah. I mean, if we were gay, which we're certainly not," Simon replied, looking uncomfortable, "and we weren't brothers, I'd have to say I'd be lucky to have a boyfriend like you."

"Oh, and why is that Si?" Alvin asked, wiggling his eyesbrows, causing Simon to blush.

"Um...well...you're very sweet when you're dating someone, so I know you'd treat me well..."he trailed off, blushing. Alvin inched closer to his brother, smiling wickedly.

"Yeah, I feel the same way, you'd be really sweet and charming and romantic with me..." he whispered, leaning in, his lips almost touching Simon's. At the last second, Simong growled and pushed Alvin away.

"Yes! I win, I'm the reigning undefeated champion of Gay Chicken!" Alvin cried, pumping his fist in the air in victory

"I only let you win cause I know how important it is to you, Alvin." Simon muttered, but wasn't heard over Alvin's celebrating.


	2. BrittanyxTheodore

"Wait, what's this about?" Brittany asked, looking over the script, "I'm supposed to fall in love, and make love, to...Theodore?!" She looked over at the chubbly little chipmunk and scowled "Yeah, no way, no thank you, that's not happening." Theodore had also been reading the script, but hadn't really heard Brittany's rant, he was too absorbed in reading, his eyes as big as saucers and his face beet red. When Brittany saw that he was still reading, she stomped over to him and snatched the pages form his hands.

"Theodore, you shouldn't be reading this trash, especially since we won't be acting out any of this garbage" She told him, ripping both scripts to shreds. After tearing them apart, she threw the tattered remains to the ground and stomped on them. Theodore was broken from his trance when the script had been taken from him, and now he backed away from Brittany, a little scared of how angry she was. He decided that the best thing to do was agree with her, just like he did with Alvin, and hopefully she would calm down.

"Y-yeah, I'm glad we won't be doing that stuff either," he told her, grinning at her to show he was on her side. Brittany heard this, and stopped mid stomp.

"W-what did you say?" she asked, glaring at him.

"I...I said yeah, I'm glad we won't be doing that stuff anyways, it would be gross," he replied, scrunching up his face like he'd eaten some bad food.

"What do you mean by that? Are you saying that the thought of kissing me or having sex with me is disgusting?!" she fumed at him, turning and stepping towards him menacingly.

"W-well...I just...you and me..." he sputtered, not sure what to say anymore.

"Are you saying that I'm disgusting?!" She screamed, causing him to shrink back even more.

"No, I don't think you're disgusting, just doing that stuff with you would be," he said quickly, and gave her a smile. This didn't work either, and Brittany's face went completely red and her eyes narrowed dangerously.

"Buster, you're in for a treat. To show you how NOT DISGUSTING I am, I'm gonna take you into my room and we're gonna do every dirty perverted thing in that script, and you're gonna like it!" she screeched, grabbing him by the arm and pulling him towards her room.

"Even...even the thing where I..."he started when Brittany glared at him.

"Yes, even that, so get ready, you're in for the night of your life!" she growled at him as Theodore tried desperately to escape before the door slammed shut, and all that could be heard from the other side where whimpers, gasps and moans.

Half an hour later, the door swung open and Brittany stepped out, a smug grin on her face, wearing only a pink bathrobe. Theodore came out a moment later, sniffling a little and limping slightly.


End file.
